Day 30 Judas

 I've been thinking about Judas .  He plays such a central part in the whole story of .....everything. And I do wonder about him - what was he like and how did he feel.

Now the Feast of Unleavened Bread drew near, which is called Passover. 2 And the chief priests and the scribes sought how they might kill Him, for they feared the people.

3 Then Satan entered Judas, surnamed Iscariot, who was numbered among the twelve. 4 So he went his way and conferred with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray Him to them. 5 And they were glad, and agreed to give him money. 6 So he promised and sought opportunity to betray Him to them in the absence of the multitude.  Luke 22

  I have mixed feelings about Judas..... I suppose that's what he is there for in the story.  To provoke deep and searching questions.

The passage above says that Satan entered Judas........  Im supposing that Judas had a choice in that matter. Satan doesnt get in unless we let him in - Judas made a conscious decision to go with the voice which was telling him to sell out, just as Eve did right back at the start.   Satan always hones in on our weak points in order to gain a foothold.  With Eve it was the doubt she already had in her mind about what God had really said.   With Judas it was politics and economics - he was always really more interested in money than in godliness, and power rather than peace.

Im sure that Judas managed to convince himself that he was doing the right thing.  Im sure he believed that if Jesus's hand was forced He would declare His kingdom and get on with ousting the Romans.  He had seen enough miracles to know that Jesus could get Himself out of any trouble.  He had already walked away from a crowd wanting to throw Him over a cliff.  He had faced down the Pharisees with clever arguments so many times.  There was no way Jesus wasnt going to come out on top this time.  So Judas 'sought an opportunity'.  Those words stand out to me - there is purpose and design and intention here.  Judas was actively looking for a moment when betrayal could happen.  He was planning and scheming. And I suppose this is how we traditionally see Judas.  But Im guessing that there was a lot more to him than that

 Judas was always the odd one out in the group of the disciples.  He wasnt called by Jesus like the others had been, he just sort of turns up. I wonder if that made him feel different.  Inferior maybe.  Im sure Jesus never made him feel that way  but we know the other disciples were competitive and blunt and they were such a disparate group of guys.  Maybe Judas was a bit of an outsider.   He doesnt understand the heart of Jesus like the others seem to - as the treasurer he is always more concerned with the finances than the bigger picture.  He scorns Mary for pouring out her expensive ointment on Jesus's feet because he can see how the money would have been better spent.   He is a social activist not a worshipper.   He doesnt recognise that Jesus is worthy of lavish praise above all else.

Am I guilty of this too?  Is the church more concerned with operating foodbanks than worshipping Jesus?  Controversial?  Yes of course.   Im sure we can do both.  But if it comes down to a choice between the two, the worship of Jesus is always going to be the more valuable thing to do.  Because, as Jesus says, the poor we shall have with us always and God is always concerned to look after them.  He has the hairs on their head numbered and has promised to meet all their needs.  Our job is first and foremost to worship Jesus.  To pour out our lavish, extravagant, wasteful worship over His feet.   Judas didn't get it.

Not only was he not a worshipper but he didnt trust the plan.  He thought he could manipulate Jesus, speed up the process, give God a helping hand .   Been there, done that, got the t shirt. 😊  Of course God knew and had it all worked into the plan - as He always does.  He doesnt need our help and He often isnt doing things the way we think He should.  But if we can learn anything from Judas it's that plotting to get our own way doesn't end well. 

At the end of the day the tragedy is that Judas realises what a monumental mistake he has made and he cant live with himself.  How devastating for him when he realises that Jesus is not going to stage a political coup but is actually going to be crucified on trumped up charges which Judas helped bring about.  The other disciples must have known instantly when Judas slipped out of the last supper that something was up. They must have seen the kiss. Judas didnt just betray Jesus, he betrayed everyone.  The mates he had been living with, the life they had built together, the women who followed and served.......all gone in an instant.  I feel sad for Judas.  If he had lived to see the resurrection Im sure Jesus would have had words of forgiveness and restoration for him like he did for Peter.   But suicide robbed him of that chance.  To the very end Judas wanted to be master of his own destiny and Satan capitalised on that by driving him to kill himself.   There but by the grace of God go I.  If someone who spent so much time in the presence of Jesus , hearing all His teaching and watching all His miracles could get it so wrong.......