Day 6 who cares about us?!

 I have no idea if my experience is 'normal' or not.  But Ive moved churches a few times in the past 25 years and each time Ive found it harder to make properly deep and meaningful friendships.   Maybe I was spoiled in my youth by having been blessed with a few ' soul mates'.  Those long lasting, tell-all, do-or-die, give you a kidney if you need one friendships are probably mostly made in our teens and twenties.  Dont get me wrong, Ive still got those precious soul mates in my life.  Its just that these days they are miles away and as busy as I am and they arent at the coffee bar at the end of a Sunday service ready to pray with me or chew over the issues of the day.

As time has gone on my definition of church has shifted somewhat.  It used to be that my church consisted of those people who went to the same sunday service and housegroup as me.  Nowadays I know that my church consists not only of those people, but of a whole raft of other christians who know and love me, many of whom worship elsewhere. I count those of you who are reading this blog as my church.   I havent seen or spoken to some of you for decades.  But that doesnt matter.  If I asked you to pray for me I know you would.  If I was in trouble I know all of you would help if you possibly could.  We are connected by Jesus.  Where we fellowship is somewhat immaterial.

Yesterday i asked, where do the mothers and fathers get mothered and fathered.   In an age of increasing disconnection this is an important question to ponder.  No man is an island and all of us need that encouragement, comfort and urging we were thinking about yesterday.  I dont know about you, but the older I get the harder it seems to be to find meaningful 'input' which truly scratches where it itches.  After  40 years of listening to sermons those ' ah ha!' moments are few and far between.  I dont get prayed for half as much as I should - partly because Im often the one doing the praying.  I rarely share my deepest thoughts because the people Id be speaking with (pastor included) just dont have the life experience to really understand what Im on about.   Of course that doesn't mean God cant use someone twenty years younger than me to speak into my life...... He can and He has.  But theres something solid and comforting and grounding and ....well, just right about receiving pastoral and prayerful input from someone who's already walked the path you are walking.  

I meet once a fortnight with two ladies who attend a different church from me but who have been friends for years.  We chat and we pray.  We pray for the stuff thats going on in each of our lives and for each other.  This prayer triplet is a place I can go to receive wisdom and prayer and just to offload anything that is wearysome and heavy.  My friends are both a bit older than me and we are walking similar paths.  They are definitely a blessing and necessary to my spiritual health and wellbeing

I miss Gladys.  She was 40 years older than me when I met her.  An absolute giant in the faith. She loved me unreservedly as I did her.  She was a proper and true soul mate and I was so hugely blessed to call her my friend over the later years of her life.  She prayed for me.  She massively encouraged me.  She told me wonderful stories about things God had done and taught her.  She actually saw me through some very deeply lonely years and Im not sure if Id have made it without her.   She taught me a huge amount about how to grow old.  From a daily teaspoon of manuka honey and a garlic tablet ( she swore these kept her healthy into her 90s) to her attitude to losing independence and her full reliance on God to answer every single one of her prayers.  She was an EXAMPLE.  And to benefit from an example you really do have to live with or near one and spend lots of time with one.

I think our generation need to change how we perceive those elderly saints in our churches. Seek them out, sit down with a cuppa and ask them questions. One of the things Im not looking forward to in the next ten or fifteen years is becoming invisible.  I know that I do a poor job of engaging with the generation above me in church.  And I know that that generation is struggling with all sorts of practical stuff which is hindering their full participation in church life. Health, mobility, finances etc etc.  I should be paying more attention to that generation because what I sow I will reap.  If I want the input of a spiritual parent in my life then maybe I need to go and seek out an older person and make a new friendship.  And maybe I need to ask God to give me another Gladys.  Although there will never be another Gladys. He broke the mold when He made her.