Day 5 Mothers and Fathers

 A few months ago my pastor took me to one side for a chat.  Cant quite remember where it started,  but where it finished was with him saying that as our church is growing it might be time for me to pass on some of the stuff Im currently doing and to step into more of a 'mother' role.  I am one of a healthy swathe of over 50s in a church which has a really great mix of ages from newborn to 90s.  Alot of the growth at the moment is coming from young families joining - which is fantastic if not a little exhausting. Rory (pastor) is looking ahead and trying to anticipate the pastoral needs of his people. He recognises that there is wisdom, experience and commitment in my generation but that too often we get caught up in doing 'stuff' that doesnt really require those things.  

A few weeks later I was on a day retreat with the ladies from church and got chatting to a friend of mine who is of a similar age and has similar experience to me.  I told her that Rory was on the look out for ' mothers and fathers'.  We both thought that this sounded great, but we both acknowledged that we didnt have the foggiest what mothers and fathers in the church might actually do.  She and I are both ' doers'.  We kinda need the job description 😊

Since my conversations with pastor and friend Ive been thinking back fondly to some of those people who faithfully parented me back in the day.   I find it almost impossible to believe that some of those people were actually younger than I am now when they were teaching and counselling and praying for me!  They seemed old and wise and massively experienced.  They seemed so sure of what they were doing.  I had the utmost confidence in them - not in an unhealthy or naive way, I did know they were flesh and  blood and fallible.  But I trusted their characters. And I knew that they loved me

I suppose there were two things that formed me in my growing up as a Christian.  One was solid Bible teaching.  The other was fellowship and pastoral input.   Those of you who went to ECF..... I know not everyone had the same experience.  But what Im trying to tease out here is how I can be a mother to my church.  So Im picking out the best parts of what I learned as a 'child' to see how I can emulate this as a 'parent' and then add other stuff that might be helpful.  And then theres my experience as a parent in the natural, which can also provide some pointers I think.

The scripture sums up what we are aiming for as spiritual elders - encouragement, comfort and a toe up the backside where needed.  I know that we are all supposed to live this way regardless of our age, but looking back on my own experience, the encouragement of those older and wiser than me was invaluable.   I didnt get a massive amount of encouragement from my actual mum and dad so I distinctly remember the impact that positive feedback, thanks and appreciation from my church had on me.  I seems to me that these days everyone is too busy to take a moment to be appreciative and its something that our generation needs to actively model to the next.  We know what it feels like to knock our pans in over something that goes pretty much unacknowledged.  We understand being taken for granted.  Lets decide here and now to go overboard with our encouragement - especially of those who work for the church and dont get seen in all the behind the scenes stuff they do.   Lets send cards and buy presents and stand up to say public thank-yous.  Lets pray with and for those who are working hard doing jobs we wouldn't want to do.   This applies to life as well as to church.  The world turns more happily when people feel encouraged.

Comfort - I love that verse in 2 Corinthians that says we can comfort others because we have known His comfort ourselves (2Cor 1:4)   How many times has God brought someone across your path who needs to hear something you have to say because you know just what they are going through?    I dont think comfort necessarily only means a shoulder to cry on and a box of Kleenex to the ready.   Ps 23 - your rod and your staff they comfort me - is a picture of protection and guidance as well as care.   If we are trusted then people will accept our testimony and our advice.  What worked for me will most likely work for them as well and if we can give them a short cut to the answer without them having to do all the hard work we had to do, well lets bless them with that.

Urging - this is something which comes easily to me as an exhorter.  Maybe those with other motivations find it harder.  But sometimes people do need a bit of a push.  Its hard to push your peers.  I think as the ' older generation '  we are less likely to care what people think of us and are more willing just to tell it as it is.  We can do this in a kind and loving way and I do think that we need to come at people from a basis of good solid relationship if we are doing any 'urging'.  Dont go up to a newbie in church or someone youve only spoken to twice and give them a shove.!   Unless God expressly tells you to.  Which He probably wont.    Relational is always best.

Of course we cant encourage, comfort or urge people to be more godly if we arent living in the love and grace and peace of God ourselves.   Which leads me on to tomorrows topic.  Where do the mothers and fathers get parented?